When the body speaks

From a work interview to a meeting with a client, from the presentation in front of a wide audience to public relations, the professional scenario of all of us is continuously testing our communication skills. Not mentioning all the personal relationships in our private life, whose success depends again in huge part from our communication capability.

Speaking does not mean communicate. If we truly want that our communication is effective, we have to remember that WHAT we say is important, HOW we say it is fundamental.

From a study led in the ’70ies by Albert Mehrabian of the School of Palo Alto, founded by Gregory Bateson, in California, emerges that words cover the minor role in the communication composition.

So, if it is important to take care of the contents of what we say, looking for the suitable words in terms of kind and quantity, the paraverbal complex, that includes tone of voice, rhythm, volume and pauses is even more important. And, as highlighted in the above scheme, it is even far more important the understanding of the non verbal communication, i.e. the body language (gestures and facial expressions) and the management of the space (proxemics).

The way we keep our hands, the position of the feet, the direction of the glance, the orientation of our body, how close we are to the other person, show, even if we feel that unconsciously, much more than what the words say.

When we meet two clients and we lean our body slightly towards one of them, we can notice that the other is going to lose interest in what we say; in a similar way, it does not matter how precise and interesting the contents of the presentation of a product are, if our attention is focused on the iPad screen and we do not look directly who we are speaking to into the eyes, we lose the engagement of the potential client and our efforts are not effective.

To learn the non verbal structure of the communication is key to guarantee the coherence between what we say and what our body, on an unconscious level, expresses and thus to obtain the targeted communication result.

As communicators, the responsibility of the communication is ours. Transferring a message in an effective way and taking care that this message reaches and is understood by the audience depend on us: the knowledge of the body language allows us to better structure the communication strategy and to understand if we are creating a relationship with the persons we are talking to, what they think, what they are attracted or rejected from, improving sensitively the efficiency of our communication with others.

 

SUGGESTED BOOKS

“The silent language of leaders – How body language can help – or hurt – how you lead”, Carol Kinsey Goman.

 

Photo credits: Stefano Butturini